Hog of the month award
SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va.–A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.
Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.
As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.
Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.
"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.
He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.
Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.
"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.
He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.
Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.
"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."
Canadian Parliament candidate resigns for having flashed teenagers
The Indelible Bonobo protests!
We learn that wikipedia deleted the List of films with Monkeys in them. Wikipedia, or, more precisely, NamlinWiki, lost faith because
A3: No meaningful, substantive content: WP:PROD, reason was 'Unmanageable listcruft'..
The page was created June 6, 2008 and deleted a few minutes later. Only 3 items were listed: King Kong, King Kong vs Godzilla and Dunsten Checks In. But apart from the creator's obvious lack of knowledge in the matter - they left out Planet of the Apes, Monkeybone, and almost all the White House press conferences between 2000-present, as they featured the most powerful chimp in the known universe - the perverse and abject discrimination against apes of all colours and creeds needs to be stopped!
Sure, some legislatures, such as the Spanish one, have passed laws outlawing the exploitation of simians, but what about civil rights in general and the right to vote and the right to marry?!?
via deletepediaSimians of the world, unite!
Terrorists, spooks and the World of Wacraft
We learn that a Pentagon researcher (a pentagoon?) has raised a red flag and a big stink about terrorists congregating and using virtual worlds to conspire. Apparently, the jargon-heavy language used over there makes it very tough to monitor.
To us, it seems that the spooks have only invented a way to play WoW during work hours, while the economy crashes and burns. The Wired article concludes:Toavs, for one, believes that spies will have to spend more time in virtual worlds like WoW, if they want to have a hope of keeping tabs on what goes on inside 'em. Which means, some day soon, we might find secret agents in World of Warcraft, along with the druids and orcs and night elves.
Hasta la vista, baby!
Gary's gift to Stoners
from meow
Madonna - between Sex and a children's book
We recently learned about an interview Madonna gave ABC when launching her latest children's book. Asked So what moral right do you have, after doing sex, to write a children’s book? she answers "I don't understand the question". It may seem as if the ABC reporter is suggesting that Madonna does not have the moral right to write a children's book if she had sex. That would be terribly misguided, since by that logic no mother with the exception of Virgin Mary could write such books and that's simply dumb. Yet what ABC is really asking is
So what moral right do you have, after doing Sex, to write a children’s book?
Now that makes far more sense. Why? Because the reporter is referring to the book "Sex" which is a coffee table book Madonna published in 1992. It was an incredibly controversial book back then and even today it holds its own. According to the American Library Association, it was the 18th most challenged book in libraries in the 1990s. It features strong adult content and simulated sex acts, such as homosexuality, sadomasochism, perversion of religious imagery and anilingus. The photos in the book are actually frames from a Super 8 mm film shot mostly by Fabien Baron.
Time Warners executives were very worried about how the book could affect Madonna's image and the sales of her albums, so they made her sign an agreement that the book will be free of religious imagery, bestiality and child pornography. She managed to include references to all these topics in her book, after creating her own vanity label, Maverick, to nullify the previously signed contract. To deal with the controversy, she released the song Human Nature, where she says
express yourself, don't repress yourself (...) I'm not sorry. It's human nature. I'm not your bitch. Don't hang your shit on me.
Today, the book can be purchased on eBay or Amazon for around USD200 - the limited and banned Japanese edition is around USD400. The book is also available on several file sharing networks. A quick search on The Pirate Bay, for instance, revealed the availability of 4 torrents, all active at the time of writing:
- Madonna Videos Part 4 (Sex 1992, Pajama Party 1), 4.35 GB
- Various Madonna sex scenes, 161.54 MB
- Madonna Sex / best art erotic photos from a book, 18.8 MB
- (ebook) Madonna - Sex (Full Book), 6.43 MB
If you somehow get a hold of the book, read it and think "what's the big deal?", consider that this was before the Internet became an avenue for porn and deviant sexual acts that have yet to make their way into the DSM. Back then, oral sex was considered risque and ungodly and most people would get their porn on VCR and on cable TV Pay-Per-View. That's why her book caused a major storm and either sold out or was banned (usually both) in most countries. To download torrent files, you might have to download and install the Opera browser first, or follow this guide.
Enjoy! 
Sources
Wikipedia, an (in)famous chick blog and my pornographic memory. Read more, go further......The Bear Came Out (...of the closet?)
(via email)
Photoshop gone kookoo
Every now and then, we discover a forum thread that sends us in a laughing coma. Do not read the following unless you have medical coverage...
Britons face jail in Dubai for beach sex
Technorati Tags: sex, beach, party, binge, promiscuity, adultery, sharia The pair faces up to 6 years in jail, though a 6 months to 1 year sentence is most likely. If we are to believe the prosecution, a police officer found them drunk and having sex on the Jumeirah Beach, which are both offences in the Arab country. He had to flash a torch into their faces to get their attention. He gave them a warning, but when he returned later on, they were still at it. When he gave them a second warning, Ms. Palmer, who at that time was a manager with ITP Publishing, started to insult and physically attack the officer. It seems to me that this last part is an offence in any country of the world. This is how the Daily Mail described the events: The beach where police caught Miss Palmer and Mr Acors having sex is popular with expatriates and holidaymakers. They had met hours earlier at a champagne brunch at Le Meridien Hotel, where Miss Palmer got extremely drunk before going for a walk along the shore with her companion. A police officer later spotted the pair having sex on the sand and let them off with a caution. But they ignored the warning and were arrested when the officer returned to the scene. According to police sources, Miss Palmer launched an angry tirade at the policeman after being disturbed for a second time. She is alleged to have hurled abuse and tried to hit him with her high-heeled shoe before being restrained and taken to a cell. A source close to the couple said: 'Michelle and Vince woke up in police cells with monster hangovers, facing six years in jail. 'Vince is beside himself with worry - he never intended to offend anyone. And Michelle is absolutely devastated.' Yesterday neighbours described Mr Acors as a polite, successful businessman. The Sun added that Ms. Palmer called the policeman "a f***** Muslim". You need a license in Dubai to drink alcoho This is, after all, a Muslim country, with laws inspired by Sharia. Despite the arrests, most foreigners continue to drink heavily especially on Friday, when hotels have "all you can drink" for a set price. It's no secret that the British have a reputation for partying hard, binge drinking, teenage sex and teenage pregnancies so it's no surprise that of all the (very) many nationalities living in or visiting Dubai, the Brits have most problems. The Foreign Office released some stats on Britons' misbehaviour: Between April 2006 and March 2007 2,032 Britons were arrested in Spain, a rise of a third more than in 2005/06 and the highest number of any country visited. The Foreign Office said that many of the arrests were due to "behaviour caused by excessive drinking". Only 153 Britons were arrested in France, but that was a rise of almost a half on the previous 12 months. The most likely destination for Britons to be arrested was Cyprus, then the USA and the United Arab Emirates (UAE), when arrests were taken as a proportion of the number of Britons who travelled there. When the London Mayor decided to ban alcohol on the Tube, he almost got a riot. And talking about reputations, Furthermore, the tabloid suggested to its readers that they'd be safe at Euro 2008, where UK didn't make it. The German's ire was well-founded: German tourists have the opposite reputation and are sought after by hotel owners and tour operators. This isn't the only case of sex on the beach in Dubai, according to The Guardian. In a separate case, two foreign women have been jailed for a month after they were arrested for kissing and embracing on a beach. A 30-year-old Lebanese national and a 36-year-old from Bulgaria had pleaded not guilty, local reports said at the weekend. Writes the Telegraph: In the Double Decker, a packed London bus-themed pub near the soaring tower of the seven-star Burj Al Arab hotel, Simone Dobson nursed a vodka and orange that was possibly not her first of the day. Yet she said that as long as revellers did not test the authorities' liberal attitudes too much, the worst that could happen after a night's carousing was a hangover. "Both the work and social life are brilliant here," said the 36-year-old management consultant, as a middle-aged businessman drunkenly murdered the Beatles' Twist and Shout on the karoake. "But I'm afraid anyone who did that kind of thing would be really stupid. You are in a Muslim country and you must respect their laws. If you're going to drink, you don't wander the streets afterwards - you get in a taxi and go straight home." Let us not forget that not long ago, Singapore sentenced an American teenager to caning for stealing road signs and chewing gum in public, causing a diplomatic incident. Nobody died, and the Earth kept spinning. Nobody doubts that all these people are nice inside, but laws and customs are there to be respected. And shouldn'tlearning about other cultures be the main reason for traveling?
Best known as the happiest barrack in the Arab concentration camp, Dubai has set a footprint in the region through its architectural feats, its relatively relaxed, opulent lifestyle and its booming economy. Yet its permissiveness is limited, as some hard-partying Brits have recently found out. Their request to leave the country was turned down today by a judge. Beachin'
Love in times of Dubai
l, which she had, but he did not. It is also illegal to have sex outside the marriage - they dealt with this by getting married in jail. It is illegal to have sex in public and so is to attack a police officer, though that's illegal in most of the known universe, except perhaps in Pornucopia. Their arrest should come as no surprise, especially since the authorities are under pressure to uphold the law from conservative groups in the country which see Westerners as a corrupting influence. The police have arrested more than 500 men suspected of leering at women or photographing them on public beaches. 
British Binge Beyond Belief
a tabloid war of sorts erupted when a British citizen sued his travel agent for sending him on a trip with too many German. Bild broke the story, publishing an unflattering photo of some older topless British women, along with a list of places to avoid for being too full of British:
You are not alone
